Mistakes are part of the human experience. Admitting our faults to another – well, that takes practice.

Whether the error was your fault, your team’s, done by mistake, or even done intentionally, navigating the aftermath is incredibly important to the interpersonal relationship and your integrity. Depending on the situation, avoiding apologies could cause resentment or further issues. Rarely is no apology the best option.

There’s no shame in learning how to apologize, as it genuinely shows strength of character. Both personal and work-related apologies are meant to convey remorse for negative actions or behavior, and serve to repair any damage caused.

Specifically in the workplace where you may be relied upon to carry out tasks or projects, it’s best to acknowledge any faults on your part through a well-worded apology as soon as possible, since necessary revisions may be time-sensitive.

Here’s an example of a written apology that can be used for when your actions have negatively impacted results in the workplace:

Dear XX,

I would like to formally apologize for [situation].

I understand that my actions negatively impacted the results of [the project or task]. I take full responsibility for my choice to [action], and am truly sorry for any inconvenience, frustration, or disappointment that I may have caused you or your company.

Understandably, this may have impacted our professional relationship, and I deeply regret that.

I’m taking steps to prevent similar situations from happening in the future. I will [describe the steps you will take to prevent future mistakes].

Again, please accept my sincere apologies. I value my position and our working relationship and hope that we can continue working together in the future.

Sincerely,

[Your name]

In this example, we see that the writer:

• takes ownership of their mistake

• understands the impact of their actions
• outlines steps in order to rectify the situation
• re-emphasizes the apology
• shows sincerity through acknowledgement
• uses formal, respectful language

How do I write an apology for my actions or inappropriate behavior?

It’s important to understand that behavior and something such as calculation errors are two different things.

Behavior can be a consistent reflection of feelings or attitudes as a result of neglect. This neglect to identify why you feel and demonstrate tension, mistrust, or resentment could impact the overall quality of your life.

Whether it be a deeper issue or a temporary feeling, knowing when you’re in the wrong and apologizing for it are steps toward progress.

Why it’s beneficial to apologize

There are 4 positive aspects to accepting that you were wrong. Learning how to apologize for behavior in a work or life setting can:

1. Repair relationships: When we behave inappropriately or hurt someone, it can strain or even damage our relationships with others. Offering a sincere apology can help to repair those relationships and show that we are willing to take responsibility for our actions.

1. Demonstrate empathy: Writing an apology requires us to put ourselves in the other person's shoes and understand how our actions affected them. This can help us develop empathy and understand how our behavior impacts those around us.

1. Build trust: When we apologize for our behavior, it shows that we are accountable and trustworthy. By admitting our mistakes and taking steps to make things right, we show our commitment to being a responsible and reliable person.

1. Encourage personal growth: Apologizing requires us to reflect on our behavior and identify areas where we need to improve. By acknowledging our mistakes and committing to making changes, we can continue to grow and develop as individuals.

What to avoid when writing an apology

Learning what to write when writing an apology for inappropriate behavior is key to effectively communicating. Equally, it’s helpful and will drastically reduce friction if a few things are avoided when writing an apology:

• being passive-aggressive
• insults
• blame
• not taking responsibility

Apologizing can be difficult, testing the ego. By treating the situation as a learning experience and taking steps to do better, we accept the lesson of humility. 

How to write a letter of apology

Here’s an example of a personal but professional letter of apology:

Dear XX,

Please accept my apologies for [describe situation]. I realize that my actions have hurt you, and for that, I am deeply sorry.

I understand that my behavior was unacceptable. It was never my intention to hurt you or cause any harm, but I should have been more considerate of your feelings, and I take full responsibility for my actions.

I want you to know that I value our relationship, and I’m committed to working on any issues.

If there is anything else I can do to make amends, please let me know. I understand that rebuilding trust takes time, but I’m willing to put in the effort.

Once again, please accept my sincerest apologies for my actions.

Sincerely,

[Your Name]

By showing that you understand how your actions have hurt or affected others and exhibiting signs of change, you demonstrate integrity.

In this example email, we see that the writer:

• immediately acknowledges the situation and apologizes
• understands the consequences of their actions
• understands that others were hurt
• offers to take further action if necessary
• apologizes directly and with clarity

How to write a simple apology

Perhaps the situation isn’t so serious. The mistake may not have been detrimental, or maybe you just had a bad day and lashed out. We all have “off” days where things don’t go as planned or we run out of patience, but even for these situations, it’s beneficial to maintain the relationship with a little “grease” to keep things running smoothly. 

Again, resentment can build up over time if relationships are not properly maintained.

It’s quite simple to maintain if we can approach these situations with a humble attitude.

Here’s an example of how to write a simple apology:

Hi XX,

I wanted to apologize for acting out at the last meeting. It wasn’t right of me to react like that and undermine your ideas. I’ve been under a lot of stress, but it doesn’t excuse the fact that I was rude to you.

I’ll do better going forward, and hope that you can forgive me.

Again, please accept my sincerest apologies.

Sincerely,

[Your Name]

This example may not contain specific points like the previous two, but it shows that even a simple apology can go a long way, especially if the situation wasn’t too serious.

Learning how to apologize for your own sake

Ultimately, the waves of life can be smooth or rough, depending on how we steer through them. Even when we hit a rough patch, knowing when and how to acknowledge your mistakes will help you swim better through it all.

Writing an apology may seem like admitting to weakness, but that’s exactly where strength is found.